1960s Spider-Man Cartoon Music Project

nowIn which I attempt to find and link to all the classic background music from the 1967-1970 Spider-Man cartoon.

My goal is to find original tracks. Many videos can be found on youtube of these and other traclistks including the hard-to-find Ray Ellis originals, but they have dialogue and sound effects layered over top, since they are harvested from the cartoons.

If you have any information or tips please comment below!

Special thanks to JimmyRich and the other diligent folks at librarymusicthemes.boardhost.com

BOB HARRIS & PAUL FRANCIS WEBBER

“Spider-Man Theme Song”

KENNY GRAHAM / TED HEATH

Kenny Graham “Panic Patrol” Episodes: Diamond Dust, Spider-Man Battles the Molemen, Phantom from the Depths of Time, The Evil Sorcerer, Spider-Man Meets Skyboy

Kenny Graham “Prowl Car” used in episodes: The Winged Thing, Evil Sorcerer, Vine
Where to find: Rtv Jazz vol 2 – Ted Heath & His Orchestra

Kenny Graham “Street Beat” From episodes: Criminal in the Clouds, Spider-Man Battles the Molemen, Phantom from the Depths of Time, Trip to Tomorrow, Vine, Home, Spider-Man Meets Skyboy
Where to find: Rtv Jazz vol 2 – Ted Heath & His Orchestra

Kenny Graham “Rat Race” Heard in episodes: Criminals in the Clouds, Menace from the Bottom of the World, Scourge of the Scarf, Madness of Mysterio, Diamond Dust, Phantom from the Depths of Time, Revolt in the Fifth Dimension, Trip to Tomorrow, The Evil Sorcerer, Vine, Home, Cold Storage
Where to find: Rtv Jazz vol 2 – Ted Heath & His Orchestra

Kenny Graham “Highway Hullaballoo” used in episodes: Criminals in the Clouds, Menace from the Bottom of the World, Diamond Dust, Spider-Man Battles the Molemen, Phantom from the Depths of Time, Vine, Winged Thing, Revolt in the Fifth Dimension, Down to Earth, Trip to Tomorrow, Up From Nowhere, Spider-Man Meets Skyboy
Where to find: Rtv Jazz vol 2 – Ted Heath & His Orchestra

Kenny Graham “Big Deal” used in episodes: Criminals in the Clouds, Phantom from the Depths of Time, The Vanishing Doctor Vespasian, Down to Earth, Birth of Micro Man, Vine, Spider-Man Meets Skyboy
Where to find: Rtv Jazz vol 2 – Ted Heath & His Orchestra

Kenny Graham “Square Squad” (used in episode “The Birth of Micro Man” and “Trip to Tomorrow”)

Kenny Graham “Shopping Jaunt” (heard in episode “Diamond Dust”)

SYD DALE

Syd Dale “Breakout” used in episodes: Knight Must Fall, Pardo Presents

Syd Dale”Dread and Danger A” used in episodes: Swing City, Rollarama

Syd Dale “Stalking Game” used in: Pardo Presents, Neptune’s Nose Cone

Syd Dale “The Aggressor” used in: Thunder Rumble

Syd Dale “Struggle Free” used in: Home, Blotto

Syd Dale “Alarm Call” used in: Pardo Presents

Syd Dale “Rescue Squad” used in: Pardo Presents, Home, Cold Storage

Syd Dale “The Hell Raisers” 1968 used in episodes: King-Pinned, The Evil Sorcerer
Where to find: Spider Sounds Vol 1 – KPM Artists

Syd Dale “Slipstream” 1968 heard in episodes: Swing City, Diamond Dust, The Evil Sorcerer
Where to find: “Spider Sounds Vol 1”

Syd Dale”Not So Private Eye” (used in episode Rollarama)
Where to find: Spider Sounds Vol 2 – KPM Artists

Syd Dale “Waiting Game” heard in: Vine, Cold Storage

Syd Dale “Looks Like Trouble” (used in episode King-Pinned, Criminals in the Clouds, Menace from the Bottom of the World, Spider-Man Battles the Molemen, Phantom from the Depths of Time)

Syd Dale “News Views” used in: Spider-Man Meets Skyboy
Where to find: Spider Sounds Vol 1 – KPM Artists

Syd Dale “Maelstrom (Criminals in the Clouds)” 1968 (heard in episode “Criminals in the Clouds”)
Where to find: Spider Sounds Vol 1 – KPM Artists

Syd Dale “Late Night London”

Syd Dale “Walk and Talk” heard in episodes: Swing City, Criminals in the Clouds, Cloud City of Gold
Where to find: Spider Sounds Vol 1 – KPM Artists

Syd Dale “Quite Contrary” heard in episodes: Criminal in the Clouds, The Evil Sorcerer

Syd Dale “The Washington Affair” Episodes used: Phantom from the Depths of Time, To Cage A Spider
Where to find: Spider Sounds Vol 1 – KPM Artists

Syd Dale “Rat Trap” Episodes used: Criminals in the Clouds, Spider-Man Battles the Molemen

Syd Dale “That’s Life” Used in: Pardo Presents, Thunder Rumble

Syd Dale “Breaking Point” Used in: Vine

Syd Dale “Ready for Action” Used in: Cold Storage

Syd Dale “Walk in a Nightmare” From episodes: “Menace from the Bottom of the World” and “Diamond Dust”

Syd Dale “Forewarning C” (used in episode “Menace from the Bottom of the World”)

Syd Dale “Sudden Scuffle” heard in: Vine, Neptune’s Nose Cone, Home, Spider-Man Meets Skyboy

Syd Dale “Staccato Curtain” heard in: Vine

Syd Dale “Outcome” heard in: Neptune’s Nose Cone

Syd Dale “Danger: Musicians at Work” used in Spider-Man Meets Skyboy (?)
Where to find: Spider Sounds Vol 1 – KPM Artists

“Swing In” Syd Dale 1968 used in: To Cage A Spider
Where to find: Spider Sounds Vol 2 – KPM Artists

Syd Dale “Blast Off 1” heard in: Neptune’s Nose Cone,
“Blast Off 2” heard in: Home, Thunder Rumble

Syd Dale “Chain Reaction” heard in: Cloud City of Gold

ALAN HAWKSHAW

Alan Hawkshaw “Drive On (The Library of Gorth)”  1967 (Heard in the episode Revolt in the Fifth Dimension)
Available on: KPM 1000 Series: The Sound of “Pop”

Alan Hawkshaw “Raver (Battles the Molemen)” 1967 (used in Spider-Man Battles the Molemen, episode The Big Brainwasher)
Where to find: Spider Sounds Vol 2 – KPM Artists

BILL MARTIN/PHIL COULTER

Bill Martin/Phil Coulter “Big Bass Guitar (Diamond Dust)” (used in episode Diamond Dust, Spider-Man vs Desperado, Spider-Man Battles the Molemen and The Big Brainwasher)
Where to find: Spider Sounds Vol 1 – KPM Artists

Bill Martin/Phil Coulter “Discothik (Underground Swing)”  (used in episodes Menace from the Bottom of the World, The Big Brainwasher)
Where to find: Spider Sounds Vol 2 – KPM Artists

Bill Martin/Phil Coulter “Mods and Rockers” used in episodes: Menace from the Bottom of the World, Spider-Man Battles the Molemen, Home, The Big Brainwasher and Devious Dr Dumpty
Where to find: Spider Sounds Vol 1 – KPM Artists

Bill Martin and Phil Coulter “Mr Chesterson’s Dog” (heard on episode ‘Menace from the Bottom of the World”)
Where to find: Spider Sounds Vol 1 – KPM Artists

Bill Martin/Phil Coulter “We’re on Top of the World” used in: Vine
Available on: KPM 1000 Series: The Sound of “Pop”

Bill Martin/Phil Coulter “L.S.D.”  (heard in episodes Menace from the Bottom of the World, Spider-Man Battles the Molemen, and Revolt in The Fifth Dimension)
Where to find: Spider Sounds Vol 2 – KPM Artists

DAVID LINDUP

David Lindup “Trap Door” (heard in the episode “King-Pinned”, “Swing City” “Menace from the Bottom of the World” and “Revolt in the Fifth Dimension”)
Where to find: Spider Sounds Vol 2 – KPM Artists

David Lindup “Sixth Sense” used in episodes: King-Pinned, Swing City, Menace from the Bottom of the World, Diamond Dust, Cold Storage, Birth of Micro Man
Where to find: Spider Sounds Vol 2 – KPM Artists

David Lindup “Juggernaut” (heard in episode Menace from the Bottom of the World)
Where to find: Spider Sounds Vol 2 – KPM Artists

David Lindup “Stop Look and Listen”  (as heard in the episode Scourge of the Scarf, Phantom from the Depths of Time and Super Swami)
Where to find: Spider Sounds Vol 2 – KPM Artists

David Lindup “Men of Action” (heard on episode Swing City, Menace from the Bottom of the World)
Where to find: Spider Sounds Vol 2 – KPM Artists

David Lindup “Unarmed Combat”  (heard on episode Swing City)

David Lindup “Veiled Threat” 1968 (heard in the episode Diamond Dust, Rollarama, Revolt in the Fifth Dimension, Cold Storage
There’s an A and B version of this song, I believe but I’ve only heard one of them

David Lindup “Zero Hour (Artificial Clouds)”   1968
Where to find: Spider Sounds Vol 2 – KPM Artists

David Lindup “Action Stations (That Night As The Town Slept)” (heard in episode “Criminals in the Clouds”)
Where to find: Spider Sounds Vol 2 – KPM Artists

David Lindup “Stand By (A Score to Settle)” (heard on episode “Swing City”)
Where to find: Spider Sounds Vol 2 – KPM Artists

JOHNNY HAWKSWORTH

Johnny Hawksworth “The Eyelash (Helicopter Chase)” heard in episode King-Pinned, Swing City, Criminals in the Clouds, The Evil Sorcerer

Johnny Hawksworth “Beat to Begin”  (Heard in episode King Pinned, Criminals in the Clouds, Menace from the Bottom of the World)

Johnny Hawksworth “Beat Street (Chasing the Kingpin)” (as heard in episode King-Pinned, Swing City, Criminals in the Clouds, Diamond Dust, Menace from the Bottom of the World)

Johnny Hawksworth “Suspense Musical Saw” (heard in the episode Revolt in the Fifth Dimension)

Johnny Hawksworth “Latin Gear” (heard on episode Menace from the Bottom of the World, Diamond Dust, Spider-Man Battles the Molemen)

JOHNNY PEARSON

Johnny Pearson “Power Drive” used in episodes: Menace from the Bottom of the World, Diamond Dust, Thunder Rumble

Jonny Pearson “Grand Prix (The End of Skymaster)” (heard on episode Criminals in the Clouds)
Where to find: Spider Sounds Vol 1 – KPM Artists

 

RALPH DOLLIMORE

Ralph Dollimore  “Tearaway” (unconfirmed)

DAVID BANKS

David Banks “Fear A” (used in episode Up From Nowhere, Rhino, Down to Earth)
From Psychoses Suite 

David Banks “Fear B” (from episode Trouble With Snow)
From Psychoses Suite 

David Banks “Fear D” (from episodes The Vanishing Doctor Vespasian, Rhino and Up From Nowhere)
From Psychoses Suite 

David Banks “Fear E” (from episode The Birth of Microman, Down to Earth)
From Psychoses Suite 

David Banks “Panic C” heard in: Cloud City of Gold

David Banks “Panic E” heard in episodes: Sky Harbor, Specialists and Slaves, Down to Earth, Vine, Blotto, Cold Storage
From Psychoses Suite 

David Banks “Fright A” (episode Neptune’s Nose Cone, Winged Thing, Trip to Tomorrow)
From Psychoses Suite 

David Banks “Fright B” used in episodes: Neptune’s Nose Cone, Knight Must Fall, Home
From Psychoses Suite 

David Banks “Fright C” (episode Spider-Man vs Desperado and Up From Nowhere)
From Psychoses Suite 

David Banks “Fright D” Used in episodes: Pardo Presents, Winged Thing, Trouble With Snow, Rhino, Up From Nowhere, Specialists and Slaves, Down to Earth, Home, Blotto
From Psychoses Suite 

David Banks “Fright E” (episode Winged Thing)
From Psychoses Suite 

HERBERT DAUM

Hubert Daum “Fight and Death” (used in episode Vine, Up From Nowhere, Madness of Mysterio)

Hubert Daum “Mysterious Cave” (used in episode Revolt in the Fifth Dimension and Trip to Tomorrow)

WLADIMIR SELINSKY (alias Ward Sillis or possibly Leon G. Sillis)

Wladimir Selinsky “Quicksand” (used in episode Birth of Micro Man, Rollarama, Specialists and Slaves)

Wladimir Selinsky “Velocity” heard in episode “Spider-Man Meets Skyboy” (?)

Wladimir Selinsky “Chronometry” heard in episode Neptune Nose Cone and Cloud City of Gold (?)

HEINRICH FEISCHNER

Heinrich Feischner “Evil Crescendo” (used in The Big Brainwasher, Up From Nowhere, Knight Must Fall, Birth of Micro Man, Madness of Mysterio, Specialists and Slaves)

Heinrich Feischner “Tense Approach” (used in Scourge of the Scarf, Up From Nowhere, Madness of Mysterio, Specialists and Slaves, Down to Earth)

Heinrich Feischner “Dark Event” used in episode Pardo Presents

Heinrich Feischner “Suspense” (used in episode Knight Must Fall, Madness of Mysterio)

HEINZE NEUBRAND / GOTTFRIED “TEDDY” WINDHOLZ

Heinz Neubrand “Quiet Reflection” (heard in the episode Revolt in the Fifth Dimension)

Heinz Neubrand and Gottfried “Teddy” Windholz “The Serpent” used in episodes: The Vanishing Doctor Vespasian, Madness of Mysterio, Up From Nowhere
From the album Journey Through the Balkans 

LARRY ASHMORE

Larry Ashmore “Dark Shadow” used in episodes: The Big Brainwasher, Rollarama, Madness of Mysterio, Knight Must Fall, Specialists and Slaves, Down to Earth, Trip to Tomorrow, Pardo Presents(?)

Larry Ashmore “Fever Pitch” (used in episodes The Winged Thing, Scourge of the Scarf, The Big Brainwasher, Super Swami, Birth of Micro Man, Rollarama, Knight Must Fall, Madness of Mysterio, Sky Harbor, Specialists and Slaves, Down to Earth, Trip to Tomorrow)

Larry Ashmore “Whirlygig” (used in episodes Knight Must Fall)

Larry Ashmore “Apprehensions 3” used in The Evil Sorcerer

HOWARD BLAKE

Howard Blake “Colt 45” used in episodes: The Evil Sorcerer

Howard Blake “They! Are Coming!” heard in: The Evil Sorcerer, Vine

Howard Blake “Kraken” used in: The Evil Sorcerer, Vine, Spider-Man Meets Skyboy

LEN STEVENS 

Len Stevens “Fire Burns” (from episode Conner’s Reptiles, Trouble With Snow, Rollarama, Rhino, Down to Earth)

PAUL GERARD

Paul Gerard “Nirvane” (from the episode Revolt in the Fifth Dimension)

Paul Gerard “Dissolve to Black” (from the episode Revolt in the Fifth Dimension)

Paul Gerard “Calculated Risk” used in: Spider-Man Meets Skyboy (?)

Paul Gerard – Compulsion – 0:34 [Skyboy]
Paul Gerard – Mesmerism – 1:03 [Skyboy]
Paul Gerard – Parataxis – 1:06 [Skyboy]
Paul Gerard – Photosphere – 0:37 [Skyboy]
Paul Gerard – Spasms – 0:37 [Skyboy]

Paul Gerard “Los Bandidos” (from the episode Spider-Man Battles the Molemen, Phantom from the Depths of Time)

Paul Gerard “The Big Creep” Used in: Spider-Man Battles the Molemen, Phantom from the Depths of Time

Paul Gerard “The Twitch” Used in: Spider-Man Battles the Molemen

Paul Gerard “The Petrified Forest” 1966 Used in: Spider-Man Battles the Molemen, Phantom from the Depths of Time, Vine

Paul Gerard “Crime Car” 1966 Used in: Spider-Man Battles the Molemen

Paul Gerard “Flying Column” Used in: Spider-Man Battles the Molemen

Paul Gerard “Street Riot” Used in: Spider-Man Battles the Molemen

EDWARD MICHAEL

Edward Michael “Terror” Used in: Diamond Dust, The Evil Sorcerer
BMLP 014

Edward Michael “War” used in: The Evil Sorcerer

WILLIAM LOOSE & EMIL CADKIN

William Loose & Emil Cadkin “Melodic Beat” (heard in episode Swing City, Diamond Dust, Evil Sorcerer, Pardo Presents

William Loose & Emil Cadkin “Secret Affair” / “22 Industrial” (heard in episode Swing City)

William Loose & Emil Cadkin “Grooving Along” used in: The Evil Sorcerer

William Loose & Emil Cadkin “Popster Party” used in episodes: Diamond Dust, Blotto

William Loose & Emil Cadkin “Pop Hit” heard in episode Diamond Dust

William Loose & Emil Cadkin “Hip Scene” (heard in episode Criminals in the Clouds)

William Loose & Emil Cadkin “Loose Scene” (heard in episode Swing City)

William Loose & Emil Cadkin “Freak Out Party” aka “Spy Rock” (heard in Spider-Man Battles the Mole Men)

William Loose “Industrial #10” aka “Danger(ous) Stealth” used in: Thunder Rumble

William Loose “Industrial #7” aka “Operation Zone” used in: Thunder Rumble

UNKNOWN ARTIST

“The Syndicate” KPM Artists
Where to find: Spider Sounds Vol 2 – KPM Artists

“The Action Scene” KPM Artists
Where to find: Spider Sounds Vol 1 – KPM Artists

Muzak #4 Tribal Chant used in Neptune’s Nose Cone

 

 

KPM pre-1000 series (original stereo 78s; KPM LPs mono)

KPM 114 – LP 21 – The Square Squad – Kenny Graham – used in 3rd season only
KPM 114 – LP 21 – Prowl Car – Kenny Graham
KPM 114 – LP 21 – Street Beat – Kenny Graham
KPM 114 – LP 21 – Rat Race – Kenny Graham
KPM 115 – LP 21 – Highway Hullabaloo – Kenny Graham
KPM 115 – LP 21 – Shopping Jaunt – Kenny Graham
KPM 115 – LP 21 – Panic Patrol – Kenny Graham
KPM 115 – LP 21 – Big Deal! – Kenny Graham
KPM 203 – LP 37 – Blast Off 1 – Syd Dale
KPM 203 – LP 37 – Blast Off 2 – Syd Dale
KPM 203 – LP 37 – Outcome – Syd Dale
KPM 204 – LP 37 – That’s Life – Syd Dale
KPM 204 – LP 37 – The Aggressor – Syd Dale
KPM 204 – LP 37 – Ready for Action – Syd Dale
KPM 204 – LP 37 – Rescue Squad – Syd Dale
KPM 205 – LP 37 – The Stalking Game – Syd Dale
KPM 205 – LP 37 – Breakout – Syd Dale
KPM 205 – LP 37 – The Waiting Game – Syd Dale
KPM 205 – LP 37 – Sudden Scuffle – Syd Dale
KPM 206 – LP 37 – Alarm Call – Syd Dale
KPM 206 – LP 37 – Struggle Free – Syd Dale
KPM 207 – LP 37 – Staccato Curtain – Syd Dale
KPM 201 – LP 38 – Breaking Point – Syd Dale *
KPM 201 – LP 38 – Chain Reaction – Syd Dale *
KPM 226 – LP 41 – Power Drive – Johnny Pearson
KPM 227 – LP 41 – Rat Trap – Syd Dale

KPM 1000 series

KPM1001 – The Eyelash – Johnny Hawksworth
KPM1001 – Beat to Begin – Johnny Hawksworth
KPM1001 – Latin Gear – Johnny Hawksworth
KPM1001 – Beat Street – Johnny Hawksworth
KPM1002 – The Hell Raisers – Syd Dale
KPM1002 – Walk In A Nightmare – Syd Dale
KPM1002 – Slipstream B – Syd Dale
KPM1002 – Walk and Talk – Syd Dale
KPM1002 – Quite Contrary – Syd Dale
KPM1002 – Dream Fantasy – Syd Dale
KPM1015 – Big Bass Guitar – Bill Martin & Phil Coulter
KPM1015 – Mr. Chesterton’s Dog – Alan Hawkshaw (not Bill Martin & Phil Coulter)
KPM1015 – Mods & Rockers – Bill Martin & Phil Coulter
KPM1015 – Drive On – Alan Hawkshaw – used in 3rd season only
KPM1015 – L.S.D. – Bill Martin & Phil Coulter
KPM1015 – Discothik – Bill Martin & Phil Coulter
KPM1015 – We’re on Top of the World (inst.) – Bill Martin & Phil Coulter
KPM1015 – Raver – Alan Hawkshaw
KPM1017 – Stand By – David Lindup
KPM1017 – Men Of Action – David Lindup
KPM1017 – Action Stations – David Lindup
KPM1017 – Zero Hour – David Lindup
KPM1017 – Maelstrom – Syd Dale (not J. Pearson)
KPM1017 – Grand Prix – Johnny Pearson
KPM1017 – Juggernaut – David Lindup
KPM1017 – Swing In – Syd Dale
KPM1017 – The Washington Affair – Syd Dale
KPM1017 – News Views – Syd Dale
KPM1017 – Stop, Look & Listen – David Lindup
KPM1017 – Unarmed Combat – David Lindup *
KPM1018 – Veiled Threat A – David Lindup
KPM1018 – Forewarning C – Syd Dale
KPM1018 – Looks Like Trouble B – Syd Dale *
KPM1018 – Looks Like Trouble C – Syd Dale
KPM1018 – Sixth Sense – David Lindup
KPM1018 – Trap Door – David Lindup
KPM1018 – Suspense Musical Saw – Johnny Hawksworth – used in 3rd season only
KPM1018 – Dread and Danger – Syd Dale *

Joseph Weinberger / JW Theme Music

Opus 27 – Colt 45 – Howard Blake
Opus 27 – Colt 45 – They! Are Coming! *
Opus 27 – Colt 45 – Kraken *

Capitol/Carlin CPM series

CPM 004 – Pop Hit – William Loose & Emil Cadkin
CPM 004 – Popster Party – William Loose & Emil Cadkin
CPM 004 – Grooving Along – William Loose & Emil Cadkin
CPM 004 – Freak Out Party – William Loose & Emil Cadkin
CPM 004 – Hip Scene – William Loose & Emil Cadkin
CPM 004 – Melodic Beat – William Loose & Emil Cadkin
CPM 005 – Danger(ous) Stealth – William Loose & Emil Cadkin
CPM 005 – Operation Zone – William Loose & Emil Cadkin
CPM 005 – Secret Affair – William Loose & Emil Cadkin

“Dangerous Stealth”, “Operation Zone”, “Secret Affair” actually Industrial 10, 7, 22 (see below).

Capitol HI-Q series

D91-92 – OK-562 Tension – Loose/Cookerly/Cadkin – used?
D91-92 – OK-565 Tension – Loose/Cookerly/Cadkin – used?
D91-92 – OK-523 Tension – Loose/Cookerly/Cadkin – used?
D91-92 – OK-524 Tension – Loose/Cookerly/Cadkin – used?
D91-92 – OK-552 Heavy Tension – Loose/Cookerly/Cadkin
D91-92 – OK-553 Heavy Tension – Loose/Cookerly/Cadkin – used?
D91-92 – OK-566 Tension – Loose/Cookerly/Cadkin
D91-92 – OK-567 Tension – Loose/Cookerly/Cadkin
D91-92 – OK-522 Tension – Loose/Cookerly/Cadkin – used?
D91-92 – OK-551 Tension – Loose/Cookerly/Cadkin
D91-92 – OK-516 Fight-Punches – Loose/Cookerly/Cadkin
D91-92 – OK-519 Fight-Punches – Loose/Cookerly/Cadkin
D91-92 – OK-515 Fight-Punches – Loose/Cookerly/Cadkin
D91-92 – OK-563 Fight-Punches – Loose/Cookerly/Cadkin
D91-92 – OK-564 Fight-Punches – Loose/Cookerly/Cadkin
D91-92 – OK-520 Fight-Punches – Loose/Cookerly/Cadkin
D91-92 – OK-580 Fight-Punches – Loose/Cookerly/Cadkin
D91-92 – OK-581 Fight-Punches – Loose/Cookerly/Cadkin – used?
D91-92 – OK-582 Fight-Punches – Loose/Cookerly/Cadkin – used?
L135-136 – Industrial #7 – William Loose
L135-136 – Industrial #10 – William Loose
L135-136 – Industrial #22 – William Loose (full)
L135-136 – Industrial #24 – W. Loose (short w/fanfare)

Whole D91-92 album listed, but not all tracks used in Spider-Man?

Conroy BMLP series

BMLP 014 – War –  Edward Michael
BMLP 014 – Terror – Edward Michael
BMLP 017 – Crime Car – Paul Gerard
BMLP 017 – Street Riot – Paul Gerard
BMLP 017 – The Petrified Forest – Paul Gerard
BMLP 017 – The Big Creep – Paul Gerard
BMLP 017 – Flying Column – Paul Gerard
BMLP 017 – Los Banditos – Paul Gerard
BMLP 017 – The Twitch – Paul Gerard
BMLP 158 (orig. BM 349) – Fright A – D. Banks *
BMLP 158 (orig. BM 349) – Fright B – D. Banks *
BMLP 158 (orig. BM 349) – Fright D – D. Banks *
BMLP 158 (orig. BM 350) – Panic C – D. Banks *
BMLP 158 (orig. BM 350) – Panic E – D. Banks *

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Toren Has a Quest for You in Fallout 4 “Musician’s Mod”

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There are two locations in the Commonwealth wasteland that are very appropriately named for your favourite Lovecraftian rock band. Toren can be found at one of them. Fulfil his quest!

What if I told you that you could meet The Darkest of the Hillside Thickets’ singer Toren in the Boston Wasteland and hear exclusive Thickets tunes on the radio in Fallout 4? 

It’s true!

Thanks to our skilled superfan John Peacock and Dave Johnson, the “Musicians Mod” adds a radio station in the town of Goodneighbor. Once you complete the quests, including one given to you by Toren to find Mario’s guitar, you can listen to the new radio station which includes (among many other bands) four acoustic Thickets songs – both old and new – made exclusively for this Fallout mod, as well as the Spaceship Zero radio plays. You can also find Thickets clothing for your character to wear. Plus Toren provides a number of voices, both on the radio and in the wasteland.

Also, Three Dog is back! Check out this video to see what it’s all about and the cool features:

Check out that tentacular Thickets t-shirt! 

The mod is available for Xbox 1 and PC. PS4 gamers will have to wait a bit longer. Crawl out through the fallout and follow the links below!

Bethesda XB1: https://mods.bethesda.net/#en/workshop/fallout4/mod-detail/2114472

Bethesda PC (pending): https://mods.bethesda.net/#en/workshop/fallout4/mod-detail/3073130

Nexus PC: http://www.nexusmods.com/fallout4/mods/19900/

You can also comment on Reddit: https://redd.it/5c9aj7

Toren swears he did not kill and eat the rest of his band.

Toren swears he did not kill and eat the rest of his band.

 

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THE ORCS ARE CHARGING! A Gamer’s Guide to Battle Music Curated by Toren Atkinson

So you’re running a D&D game and you want some suggestions for background battle music? I’m here to help. I’ve been running D&D for decades and I think these will help.

Now these are not the songs that you play while the players are plotting their next move at the inn, or tending their wounds between battles. These are tracks to use when the dragon bursts out of the keep or the goblins start poring out of shrubs!

All Drums Go To Hell: “Barrage of Noise”
These are short!
See also “Norwegian Devil” “Armored Cars” “Code of Honor” “Death Came Early That Year” “Guerilla Raid” and “Images of Horror”

Basil Poledouris “The Mound, Part 1” (Conan the Barbarian)

Alan Silvestri “Blain Gets Killed” (Predator)
Spoiler alert! Blain gets killed!

Bear McCreary “Roslin Escapes” (Battlestar Galactica)
Lots of other great stuff from this series such as “Starbuck Takes On All Eight” “Storming New Caprica” and “Escape from the Farm”

Elliot Goldenthal “Bait and Chase” Alien 3
Nice ups and downs, a lot of suspense. This is also a good soundtrack for your horror games like Call of Cthulhu.

 

Steve Jablonsky “Scorponok” (Transformers)

 

Alan Silvestri: Beowulf Slays the Beast (Beowulf)
Thunderous!

 

Christophe Beck “Ritaliation” (Edge of Tomorrow)
This is really a great score all around. One of the best in years, good for both your for fantasy and sci-fi games.

Joseph LoDuca “The Pit” (Army of Darkness)
So much interesting punctuation and movement of emotional cues throughout. Bordering on cartoony but IMO never crosses the line.

Bernard Hermann “The Giant Crab” (Mysterious Island)
Speaking of cartoony
See also “The Fight with the Roc” and “The Duel with the Skeleton” from the 7th Voyage of Sinbad.

The Battle (Master and Commander)

Shigeru Umebayashi: The Echo Game (House of Flying Daggers)
Relentless yet short at the same time.

 

blern

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Toren’s Guide to Star Trek: Voyager Season 6

Click here for Season 1
Click here for Season 2
Click here for season 3
Click here for Season 4
Click here for Season 5
Click here for Season 7

EQUINOX PART 2

Starfleet Captain Ransom, also stranded in the Delta Quadrant, is doing bad things and violated the prime directive. Janeway goes crazy koo-koo and prioritizes laying down the law on Ransom rather than defending her own crew from dimensional shamblers. Meanwhile, evil Doctor is over the top. 6/10

SURVIVAL INSTINCT

You thought Seven was the only borg separated by the collective! Because they keep saying that. However, by sheer coincidence she comes into contact with three other ex-borg who aren’t linked to the collective but are constantly nightmarishly linked to each others thoughts. Doctor severs their link but gives them only a month to live. The Bajoran ex-drone decides to spend her remaining days aboard the ship. We never hear about her again. 6.6/10

BARGE OF THE DEAD

B’elanna is injured in an accident and while she’s in a coma she meets her mom in the Klingon purgatory. Is it real? Is it not real? It’s real dumb, is what it is. 3/10

TINKER, TENOR, DOCTOR, SPY.

The doctor programs himself to daydream, but the daydreams begin to take over, and then alien nerds spy on the ship through his program, interpreting his daydreams as reality. Sketchy premise but the writing and performances are charming, with special nod to the actors playing the aliens, J.M Leggett and Googy Gress. 8/10

ALICE

A trader is compelled to unload a cursed space dragster named Christine, er…I mean ALICE… to a compatible pilot and by SHEER COINCIDENCE Tom Paris decides to buy her. She takes over his brain and forces him to fly her to some place and we’re never told why. 5/10

RIDDLES

Invisible xenophobic alien zaps Tuvok which turns him into a fun-loving dummy. If Voyager can find the invisible xenophobic alien maybe they can cure fun-loving dummy Tuvok. But does fun-loving dummy Tuvok want to go back to being dull smart Tuvok? He may never make desserts again!!!! 6/10

DRAGON’S TEETH

Uncomplicated but entertaining plot has Janeway pissing off not one but 2 alien fleets. Could have made a decent feature film. Put Tom Hardy in it. 7.3/10

ONE SMALL STEP

Out of the blue a bunch of people are Mars Mission history buffs. Especially when by SHEER COINCIDENCE a giant subspace walnut that eats space ships, which has visited the Sol System, appears in front of Voyager a gazillion light years away. Chakotay is dumb and Seven gets sentimental. 5.2/10

THE VOYAGER CONSPIRACY

Seven breaks her brain but don’t worry, Janeway can fix it all with a good pep talk. A good reminder that the Flat Earthers are going to steal our planes soon. 6/10

PATHFINDER

Lt Broccoli is not on the Enterprise with Geordi anymore. Now he’s on a starbase and working on communicating with Voyager. He has a brilliant idea but his boss won’t listen because he’s always in the holodeck. Deanna Troi serves as a narrative device. 7/10

FAIR HAVEN

Janeway falls in love with an old timey Irish hologram. 6.2/10

BLINK OF AN EYE

On a planet where time passes faster than the rest of the galaxy, Voyager becomes a sky god and the Doctor gets married and has a son that he will probably never mention again in the series. Then the aliens become more advanced than Voyager and shoot lasers at it. 7/10

VIRTUOSO

Math nerds become superfans of the Doctor’s singing, until the next big thing comes along. 7.4/10

MEMORIAL

A memorial to an ancient battle traumatises the crew and Janeway decides it’s fine to leave it up and running. 5.5/10

TSUNKATSE

Martok and Weyoun wear different makeup and Seven has to fight in a televised space MMA match composed of kidnapped fighters. Voyager doesn’t stand a chance against a vastly superior ship but they rescue their crew and get away clean for some reason. The Rock does his eyebrow thing. 5/10

COLLECTIVE

Abandoned Borg kids are cute, but they grow up so fast! The wee borg demand that Voyager helps them, but end up being taken on board Voyager as more ex-drones. 5.5/10

SPIRIT FOLK

So apparently the inventors of the holodeck never bothered to test it to see what happens if it ran around the clock over an extended period of time. This obvious oversight leads to the simulated characters seeing real people use “magic” and start a witch hunt. Naturally they take hostages and they can’t just turn it off . Well at least the characters are interesting. 6/10

ASHES TO ASHES

A dead and “buried” (in space) crewman -who we have never heard of before over these 7 years despite being a close friend of Kim – has been found and reanimated by aliens and made part of their species, but then she returns to Voyager hoping to resume her old life. But then she leaves again when things don’t work out, which is disappointing because she’s an interesting character. Then the episode ends awkwardly with Ensign Kim giving her brush to a borg girl and holding hands with her. 7/10

CHILD’S PLAY

The parents of Icheb (the oldest borg boy) are found and Icheb is returned to them, but then it’s revealed that he has been used as a sacrifice to deliver a virus to the borg. 6.5/10

GOOD SHEPHERD

Three misfit crewmembers fuck up a lot, but Janeway tries to mother them. The guitarist from Rage Against the Machine is in this episode. 6.5/10

LIVE FAST AND PROSPER

Scam artists are posing as Janeway and Tuvok, taking advantage of their marks and besmirching Voyager’s good name. Kind of funny. 6.5/10

MUSE

B’Elanna Torres crashed on a planet where some playwright discovered her and is using Voyager logs to create an epic play. Luckily Starfleet’s principles come through in the play and prevent war in the region. Derpy premise but kind of touching. 6.5/10

FURY

Kes returns and she’s mad as heck, and we don’t really get a good explanation about that or anything else. 5/10

LIFELINE

The Doctor’s inventor is dying and they send The Doctor a gazillion light years to cure him, but oh no he doesn’t want the help! Deanna Troi to the rescue! 7/10

THE HAUNTING OF DECK TWELVE

SPACE CLOUD takes over the ship, rehashing old material from the TNG episode “Lonely Among Us.” The difference here is that Neelix tells it in the form of a ghost story to the li’l borg babies. 6/10

UNIMATRIX ZERO, PART I

A borg “virus” has created a group hallucination/virtual world where individual borg go to live their pre-borg lives. The borg queen – yeah you know that individual boss character who undermines the entire concept of the borg – is very passionate about destroying it. Also Janeway can go there for some reason even though she is CLEARLY NOT A BORG. Until the end of the episode WHEN SHE IS BORGIFIED!!! 6/10

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Toren is on Bandcamp!

The first of my a capella tracks is available free (or more specifically, pay-what-you-want) for a limited time on bandcamp. Go to the site to see all the new tracks as they appear, and click the ‘follow’ button while you’re there so you don’t miss a thing!

This track is originally from my podcast Caustic Soda and has a swear word in it. Explicit! Parental Advisory!

More tracks to follow in the coming weeks. Stay tuned!

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Toren’s Resto Rants: El Santo

“A Rip off” – Mom

El Santo (Mexican Restaurant)

Their blurb:  Contemporary. Social. Fresh. A restaurant experience that’s uniquely New West. This is a place for you to unwind. … And most importantly, to leave satisfied and happy.

MENU

Address: 680 Columbia Street, New Westminster, BC
Open 11:30am – 10pm
Booths? Yes.
When I dined: 6:30pm on a Thursday
Noisy? Very
Candies with your bill? Tiny spicy marshmallows
Lives up to it’s name? El Santo translates to “The Saint.” So…no.

My dear old Ma floated in to town on a cruise with a bunch of old folks. Her submarine parked in New Westminster and she asked me to come out for dinner. I skytrained out and met her at her hotel, which has a Boathouse Restaurant attached. The Boathouse got crap reviews so I polled my facebook feed to see what other dining venue we might explore. The top two suggestions were Re-Up BBQ and El Santo. I was warned Re-Up was not a sit-down restaurant so Mom opted for El Santo.

Entering the restaurant, it looked nice. They had big green booths where I wanted to sit. They did not sit us there. They had smaller tables isolated from other patrons where I wanted to sit. They did not sit us there. They sat us next to a couple who were ignoring their churros.

The menus were a bit of a chore to get through, especially if you don’t know Spanish – with the additional confusion of having a bunch of French words mixed in. The menus come on a clipboard with three sheets. To get to page 2 and 3 of the menu I had to unclip them all and suddenly I now have to clean up the table. More tragically for me, as I don’t really drink, those pages were all booze. Oh, I should probably say that part of the recommendation from my friends were the drinks. So maybe those would have been great…if I had come to New West to get drunk with my mom.

There was a starters section on the menu AND a ‘shared plates’ section AND a “to share…or not to share” section. Without looking too closely Mom assumed the $26 pollo a la granada (chicken & corn bread) plate would be ok for two people, not a terrible unreasonable assumption since the word “share” was used on the menu, and it was more than 15 bucks. I suggested ordering something else and Mom said we can order more later if we’re still hungry. When the entree showed up it clearly was not suitable for two people. The food was all prepared well and tasty. But while we were waiting the 20+ minutes for our dish a trio of musicians set up and started playing. We couldn’t hear each other. If ordering more food meant waiting another 20 minutes without being able to carry on a conversation, we couldn’t wait to get out.

BUT I had already ordered dessert, which came promptly. The chocolate empanadas were outstanding. $8 but worth it. Also could have been a bit bigger but maybe that was because the entree was so meager. Tough luck for you if you want to try this dish, as I was warned they’d be off the menu by the time you read this.

The single person bathrooms were fine and welcomed as always, except I couldn’t tell if the door was locked when I was in there, as there did not seem to be any visible mechanism. Luckily since I was only there to wash my hands after touching every clammy metal bar on the skytrain, there was no chance of Jonny Rando busting in on me with my knickers down. The downside of the single person bathroom is that after you have to put your freshly washed hand onto the doorknob to escape. Did you know that according to some probably flawed data I found on the Daily Mail site, 62% of men don’t wash their hands after going to the bathroom? I couldn’t even use a paper towel as a makeshift glove to open the door, since the method of hand drying there is the space-age air-blowing dealio.

The service was very pleasant and efficient. Water flowed freely. The food while expensive was good, but this dining experience just didn’t work for us. As we walked back to my Mom’s hotel we passed Re-Up BBQ, which was just about to close up. We could have had some $10 beef brisket and enjoyed the ample seating and quietness. Next time.

Biggest Rave: Besides the dessert… the paper napkins were stellar. Firm, sturdy, and pleasant to the touch. We got three and Mom pocketed two of them. True story.

Biggest Rant: I don’t mean to single out El Santo for this, but why when there are five tables in a row does the hostperson have to sit me next to the one table that is already occupied by a couple? I don’t want to hear their conversations, and I’m damn hell ass sure they don’t want to hear mine. Put me at least one table away so I don’t have to suffer from conversational overflow. Also…restaurants with live music – cut it out.

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Toren’s Resto Rants: Sal y Limon

A sauce for each life of your gato

Sal Y Limon

Their blurb: Sal y Limon is a gathering place for sharing food and ideas in an organic way that is significant. Yes, it’s casual dining but we feel the experience should be fun and inspiring..

MENU

Address: 701 Kingsway Street #5, Vancouver, BC
Open 11:30am – 9pm
Booths? Half-booth along some walls.
When I dined: 3pm on a Tuesday
Noisy? Not really
Candies with your bill? No
Lives up to it’s name? There was salt on the table. I didn’t see any limes. Where are they?

Mexican food! This is the kind of place where you order at the counter and they give you a number on a tiny flagpole, then you find a table for yourself. In fact most of the restaurant is self serve with sauces, cutlery, water, etc. They have a Taco Wars best taco award on the front counter.

I ordered four tacos – beef tongue, slow roast chicken, slow roast lamb and pulled pork. Cheese on your tacos is extra (to the tune of 25-40 cents) and I decided to opt out. Next time I’ll add the cheese. How long should it take to prepare 4 tacos? It wasn’t busy when I visited but it still took 15 minutes. That seems like 5 minutes too long.

Horchata is available and it comes in different varieties, including rum-chata! I had the coconut horchata and it was very nice, if a bit small.

The size of the restaurant is decent. The tables are small…and too close together in places. The ambience was fine. The music was mostly but not exclusively Mexican and it was at a reasonable volume. For some reason they had baseball on the TV above the counter. The decor is a lot of Day of the Dead paintings and wooden folk art. There is a children play area/stage but luckily there were no kids while I was eating, since the table I chose was directly adjacent.

Most of my tacos were delicious, but I would skip the beef tongue. I will definitely go back and try some more selections from the menu. And this time I’ll find those pesky limes!

toastBiggest Rave: I got 10 cents off because the clerk didn’t have change. Woohoo! At first I didn’t see the selection of sauces at the back. It’s not a bad place for them (clears up the front area) but I wish someone had pointed them out to me, as I had to search. There were nine sauces and all the ones I tried were delicious.

Biggest Rant: The lineup to order is super awkward. As soon as you enter the restaurant there’s a little cubby hole to the right where they’ve cordoned off a line, but as soon as you get through the door you’re already blocking the line. The first time I came in, I saw the queue and got in it, and I was the only one. Before I was even acknowledged by the staff, a pack of four crowded in right behind me and I immediately felt like I was at an Iggy Pop concert (note: I’ve never been to an Iggy Pop concert). I browsed the menu but it wasn’t an enjoyable feeling and I fled the scene, coming in a couple weeks later to try again.

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Toren’s Guide to Star Trek Voyager: Season 5

Click here for Season 1
Click here for Season 2
Click here for season 3
Click here for Season 4
Click here for Season 6

NIGHT

The guys who seem evil are good, and the guys who seem good are evil. Janeway becomes a seclusive weirdo who won’t come out of her ready room or see any of the crew. That seems like grounds for dismissal but luckily I’m not a counsellor or doctor so yeah, go nuts Janeway. Also did you know that space can be polluted with radiation? 5.5/10

DRONE

Ensign Mulcahey, Seven’s nanoprobes and the Doctors mobile emitter have a baby. Bit of a rehash of “I, Borg” from TNG with Seven in the mix. 6.9/10

EXTREME RISK

B’ellana feels dead inside and only extreme sports can make her feel alive. Tom designs the Delta Flyer. 5/10.

IN THE FLESH

Species 867-5309 have taken human form and recreated Starfleet Academy so they can infiltrate and destroy humankind. This episode saps any interesting aspects away from the Borg’s arch-nemesis and nullifies the previous work to establish them as truly alien. 3.5/10

ONCE UPON A TIME

Neelix has bad dreams about his family being atomized and becomes overprotective of Naomi Wildman when her mom gets caught in a space storm and may be lost or dead. Naomi’s Flotter doll looks terrifying. 6/10

TIMELESS

This episode started out promising with an interesting premise. Some unfortunate acting and usual time travel nonsense – I especially like the part where Janeway says “when it comes to time travel paradoxes, it’s best not to think about it.” Special guest appearance by Captain LaForge. 6/10

INFINITE REGRESS

In this episode there’s a borg device that is causing terrible problems and nobody thinks to shoot a torpedo at it. Also Seven of Nine tries to run in her dumb space heels and we are treated to aliens who wear cool 70s transparent jumpers with christmas lights. 5.5/10

NOTHING HUMAN

The Cardassian Josef Mengele, or a holographic recreation thereof, can save B’elanna from a giant space bug that can fly through force fields. Very interesting, with a great performance by David Clennon as Crell Moset, but the whole giant space bug thing was sloppy. 7.5/10

THIRTY DAYS

Did you know that Tom Paris loved ocean exploration? So much so that he joined Starfleet. Luckily years later he could disobey direct orders from his captain, save an ocean world, and then spend 30 days in solitary confinement. Well, solitary except for all the people he sees. 6/10.

COUNTERPOINT

Janeway falls for a “defector” from a telepath-hating fascist alien organization, even though he is obviously playing her for a sucker. Good performance from Mark Harelik as the guy who’s name is almost the same as the Wookiee homeworld. 7/10

LATENT IMAGE

The Doctor chooses to save his friend instead of a random crewmember we’ve never seen before and don’t care about. His crisis of conscious goes on for way too long and isn’t resolved. 5.5/10

BRIDE OF CHAOTICA!

Interesting premise, where photonic aliens think that holograms are real and organic life is the illusion. They could have got anyone on ship to play Queen Arachnia, for example maybe someone who was studying acting? But I guess Janeway was convenient and cool in a tight spot and looks good in black and white. Not terribly compelling, but a fun ride. 7/10.

GRAVITY

Some crew members are sucked through a space anus and crash-land on a hostile planet. Then we are supposed to accept that Tank Girl (Lori Petty) – who is provided with no backstory whatsoever – falls in love with Tuvok despite having no chemistry with him. 6/10

BLISS

A giant space monster that eats starships manipulates the minds of the Voyager crew so they don’t resist it, and only Seven and a crotchedy old man can save everyone! Weird ambiguous ending. 6/10

DARK FRONTIER

Remember when a cube was the only kind of Borg ship? Now there’s spheres, rhombo-hexagonal dodecahedrons and all sorts of shapes that you might find in the science education section of a toy store. Anyway, Seven returns to the Borg collective, meets her dad, and the Borg queen, who is not played by Alice Krige. Also when the Borg display a 3D holographic projection of a human being they choose white male with underwear – I guess the Borg assimilated modesty somewhere along the line. 7/10

THE DISEASE

Is love a condition or a disease? This episode doesn’t answer that question but it does give a space STI to Ensign Kim while still managing to keep his character boring. 4.75/10

COURSE: OBLIVION

We learn that the crew are all simulacrums of the actual crew, originating from the Demon Planet from last season. So, why should we care about them? Still, an interesting exercise. 5.5/10.

THE FIGHT

Strange space phenomena are back, this time as “chaotic space.” There are aliens in it and they can only communicate by making Chakotay hallucinate about boxing.  4/10

THINK TANK

George Costanza is smarmy while he double crosses the crew of Voyager and alien bounty hunters. 6.6/10

JUGGERNAUT

Members of the crew go in a heavily irradiated space ship without hazmat suits or even gas masks. A monster stalks them, a la the movie Alien. B’elanna is angry. 5.8/10

SOMEONE TO WATCH OVER ME

Seven of Nine lets her hair down and goes on dates, just like Data did in that TNG episode “In Theory.” Meanwhile, Scott Thompson from Kids in the Hall in a forehead prosthetic is kind of funny? 7/10

11:59

Usually when Janeway does stuff that isn’t bossing people around I get bored and eye-rolly, but this was pretty good! 7.6/10

RELATIVITY

More of the usual time travel hand-waving when it comes to story inconsistencies, as Seven is recruited by the Temporal Police to discover a saboteur that wants to blow up Voyager. 5.9/10

WARHEAD

Is there really no higher rank officer than Ensign Kim who can command the ship while Janeway sleeps? Although he states that he’s a senior officer, Ensign is still the lowest rank of Starfleet personnel. Anyway, an intelligent talking bomb, much like the intelligent talking bomb from Dark Star, really really really wants to go off. Spoiler – it blows up in the end. 6/10.

EQUINOX

Gosh if you think it’s a small world wait until you visit the Delta Quadrant. Voyager’s been going in a line for only a few years and they’ve already encountered human beings THREE TIMES. At least these ones are interesting, what with their violating the Prime Directive and murdering aliens to power their ship. But they should have beards. What will happen in part two? 7/10.

 

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Toren’s Guide to Star Trek: Voyager Season 4

Click here for Season 1
Click here for Season 2
Click here for season 3
Click here for Season 5
Click here for Season 6
C
lick here for Season 7

SCORPION PART 2

The Borg send a drone that just happens to be human to work with the Voyager crew on a weapon that can defeat their nemesis, Species 8472. Despite the fact that they are from another dimension, Kes communicates with them telepathically. The Voyager-Borg alliance prevails but the borg double-cross forces Janeway to destroy all but Seven of Nine. 6.5/10

THE GIFT

Once stripped of her human identity by the borg, Seven now has her borg identity stripped by Janeway. This causes an ethical dilemma for The Doctor but luckily not for Janeway. Meanwhile Kes’ mental powers are blossoming dangerously and we finally get a conversation between Neelix and Kes about their mysterious breakup. Kes explodes into who-knows-where but not before sending the ship out of Borg space with her powers. 6.5/10

DAY OF HONOR

Paris and B’ellana get mushy in space suits while marooned in space. 5/10

NEMESIS

Chakotay becomes involved in a war but it’s really an illusion to condition him to be a soldier. 5/10

REVULSION

The Doctor and Torres have to fight an alien holographic slave that hates biological life. 6/10

THE RAVEN

In this episode we learn that Seven can do the Vulcan nerve pinch on a Vulcan and hey, why not? We also learn that Voyager just happens to be on a course that intersects with Seven’s parent’s spaceship that was assimilated by the borg. That kind of makes sense since they are heading back to the Alpha Quadrant, but the idea that “Annika Hansen’s” half-assimilated ship was dragged by the Borg from Romulan space to Borg space is a bit much. 6/10

SCIENTIFIC METHOD

An invisible alien race performs Joseph Mengele-level experiments on the crew. 7.7/10

YEAR OF HELL (2 parts)

Clarence Boddicker (Kurtwood Smith) is totally obsessed with mucking around with time so that his family doesn’t die. Voyager goes through many hardships until it’s all undone at the end like it never happened! 7/10

RANDOM THOUGHTS

An alien society of telepaths has learned to purge all violent thought. Right? No, of course not. Torres is charged with thought-crime and sentenced to brain-purging, which I guess is bad. Tuvok finds out there’s a black market of dark thoughts. Kind of cool! 6/10.

CONCERNING FLIGHT

John Rhys Davies is a holographic Leonardo Da Vinci that an alien burglar steals from Voyager. Janeway enlists Da Vinci to thwart his new alien patron “prince” so that they can recover Voyager’s main computer, also stolen. Ridiculous and annoying. 5/10.

MORTAL COIL

Neelix dies and has to come to terms with the fact that there’s no afterlife and his dreams of seeing his dead family there will never come true. Genuinely touching. 8/10.

WAKING MOMENTS

The crew are trapped in a communal nightmare by a race of aliens that exist in dreams. Well that doesn’t really make sense, but at least the aliens have a good reason for what they’re doing. Oh wait, no not really. 5/10.

MESSAGE IN A BOTTLE

For some reason sending the holographic doctor is more successful than sending a message along a network of alien sensor stations that lead into the Alpha quadrant. Of all the millions of alien ships they could find in the alpha quadrant they manage to find a Starfleet vessel. But not just any Starfleet vessel – a brand new experimental warship! But not just any brand new experimental warship – one that’s been overtaken by Romulans! Now the Doctor and Andy Dick must face a ship full of Romulans. Luckily the Romulans are super dumb! 7/10

HUNTERS

Some Predator knock-offs have a communications network that Voyager uses to communicate with the Alpha Quadrant. 6/10

PREY

The predator knock-offs hunt Species 867-5309.

RETROSPECT

The Doctor convinces Seven that she’s been assaulted by an alien merchant. But it turns out she probably hasn’t. An interesting look at faulty memories and human bias vs proper scientific study. 6.4/10

THE KILLING GAME (2 parts)

The Hirogen take over the ship and use holodeck tech to run endless hunts, which leads to civil strife among their ranks. 6/10.

VIS A VIS

Tom Paris has a fear of commitment with B’elanna and then his body is swapped with an alien. Pretty dumb. 5/10

THE OMEGA DIRECTIVE

Janeway is obligated to neutralize a subspace-destroying particle, but Seven wants to study it. The particle comes from aliens trying to harness power for their collapsing society. Janeway screws over the aliens and then there’s some B.S. about ‘perfection.’ 5.5/10

UNFORGETTABLE

A stealth woman loves Chakotay. She can’t be remembered or recorded for more than a short time. I guess they can’t take a snapshot or a drawing of her? Ridiculous. 5.6/10

LIVING WITNESS

The Doctor is reactivated to a future alien race who believes that Voyager was evil. Setting things right causes civil unrest. 7.8/10

DEMON

Voyager crew and then the entire ship goes down to a planet that will kill any crew and destroy any ship, but they are not killed or destroyed. Then Tom and Harry become cloned by the planet that has gained sentience because of reasons. 5/10.

ONE

To survive a month-long trip through a death nebula, Seven must keep the ship running for a month while the crew is in suspended animation. Then she gets the crazies. 6.5/10

HOPE AND FEAR

An alien whose people has been borgified wants revenge on Voyager so he makes his ship look like a starfleet ship. Lazy plot but love the acting from Ray “Twin Peaks” Rise. 7/10

 

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Toren on the Storm Crow Podcast

toastEpisode 3 of the Storm Crow Cast features Toren Atkinson talking about The Darkest of the Hillside Thickets, Spaceship Zero the album and the roleplaying game, Star Trek, cartoons, and Star Trek cartoons. It all happens in the Storm Crow Alehouse on Broadway in Vancouver.

Listen and you could win a Spaceship Zero CD and signed copy of the SSZ roleplaying game!

Listen to it on google play or on iTunes

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