Toren Atkinson’s Absolute Blog

Return to the Temple of Gingerbread Evil

Having heard rumours of gingerbread treasure in an ancient gingerbread temple, our gingerbread adventurers gather.

The entrance to the temple is dark (except for the windows), foreboding, and delicious.

Toren’s half-orc barbarian is ambushed from above by three gummi bloodsuckers. His life-icing is tragically and noisily sucked out of him. Even with his high Fortitude save, he never stood a chance. The cleric could revive him, but figures “ah, why bother?”

A bevy (school? murder?) of gummi lobsters guard two coveted icy squares. Unpictured: Darcey’s gruesome death by nippers.

A clodhoppers trap claims the life of another valiant adventurer. Bards will sing glorious ballads of the tragic tale of Stewie’s cleric.

The remainder of the group enters the domain of the Cult of the Gummi Bear, interrupting their unholy sacrificial rites before the alter to some nameless profane gingergod. Note the two treasure chests in the back right and the colourful, starry side-effect of Ang Hold’s necromantic aranea’s miscast spell.

The gummi cultists handedly dispatched, Yvonne’s halfling rogue checks for traps on the treasure chests…

…sadly she fails her roll. There were no survivors.

Merry Dec 25

You know what? You’re right.

If I’m sitting with a big pile of Dec 25 gifts on Dec 25 morning, and I go through them, unwrapping one after the other like so many gizmos on a conveyor belt, I might not appreciate each individual gift as well as I otherwise would if I spread the gifts out over several days or even weeks. Although I cannot deny the magic of sitting by the Dec 25 tree (or in my case, the drawing of it) surrounded by joyous material goods like I did when I was a kid*, receiving a gift on January 3rd would quite possibly make it even more special.

Thus – if your Dec 25 present from me is post-Dec 25, call it “extra love & meaning” not “lazyness and leaving it too late”.