Toren Atkinson’s Absolute Blog

There’s an exhibit on at the California Science Center called “Body Worlds: The Anatomical Exhibition of Real Human Bodies” that shows real human cadavers. It makes children cry and adults cry out about the “sanctity of the human body.” I raspberry the latter and wish that it would come to Vancouver.

At last I can rule the world, once I get my hands on one of Susumu Tachi’s Invisibility Cloaks!

L. Paul Bremer, the American proconsul in Iraq, in one of his final acts before handing over “sovereignty” to Iraq’s new interim government, decreed that American forces will remain immune from prosecution by Iraqi courts for crimes against Iraqi citizens or destruction of property

And hooray for Fahrenheit 9/11 opening at #1 at the box office. Let’s hope it kills Bush’s chance of being re-elected.

Lastly - here’s a weird story:

TOKYO, Japan (Reuters) — A Japanese teenager was forced by his teacher to write an apology in blood after dozing in the classroom, the school’s principal said on Monday.

The teacher later went to high school principal Hiroaki Dan and confessed what he had done, Dan told Reuters.

The teacher had apologized to the 17-year-old boy and his parents, Dan said, confirming a local media report of the incident, which happened last Thursday.

He said the boy was taken to the staff room of the school in Fukuoka City, southern Japan, after being caught asleep during a lesson. The 40-year-old male teacher handed the boy a box-cutter and paper and told him to write an apology in blood.

The teacher left the student, who then cut his finger and began to write an apology using his own blood.

It occurs to me that if we had gone to see Supersize Me! at Tinseltown instead of 5th Ave Cinema we would have each saved $2 for a total of $8. And the seats would have been comfier. And bubble tea would have been on hand. Anyway….

3 out of 4
or 4 out of 5
or 8 out of 10.
You pick the rating system you like best.

James got me a rock lord - which I think is my fifth. Then we drove out to Chilliwack and I forgot to give him gas money because I didn’t ride home with him. In a convoluted set of circumstances Stewie needlessly rented a car and went separately from the rest of us, so we actually had a spare seat in James car which if I had known about it earlier I would have dragged Anghold along. Anyway that’s all ducks under the windbridge now. The reason we went to Chilliwack was because we were invited to Sid’s BBQ. I ended up eating a hamburger even after seeing Supersize Me! I saw all the usual Chilliwackian residents like Bob, Garett & Lea, Tara & Jordan, my brother, etc etc. Even Suzanne Bate who I haven’t seen for years. After the food we bandied about ideas for a short to make for the H.P. Lovecraft film festival and I came up with this great idea that would take way too long and would have limited appeal to non-Ghostbusters fans but I still think it’s a great idea and I think that Stewie and I will work on it (covertly - shhhh). Nevermind that we still haven’t gotten our SSZ treatment to Stuart Gordon yet. Then we played Pac-Man, Galaxian, DigDug and 2 other weird retro games for way too long and watched children playing with children, dogs playing with dogs, and children playing with dogs. It was all very culture (as opposed to counter-culture) but quite enjoyable, and hey - free food. It was Linda’s birthday yesterday so there was cake for that too. You have no idea what I’m talking about, do you? Don’t worry, now that it’s July it won’t be long before I post an entry that I’m sure we can all relate too.

Also, I phoned my grandparents yesterday. My grandpa actually said “you’re another day older and deeper in debt.” I guess some sayings never get worn out - I know I’ll be telling my czar chasm joke until I’m 85 so fair’s fair.