Toren Atkinson’s Absolute Blog

These grapes are shaped like pears and I find that disturbing. Maybe they were genetically modified to include genes from my oil painting instructor in college, who was also pear-shaped. They certainly do taste a little like paint thinner.

D&D tonight was fun, if hot. I blame Stewie for stealing one of the fans (I’m not really concerned whether or not it is his fan, thanks for asking) and keeping it in his room. And by that I mean I blame him for the heat, not for the fun. I blame the fun on Kelly, who brought home made blueberry ice cream. And by home made I mean it’s made in her home. I’m wary of restaurants who declare that I’ll love their “home made” meals. I choose to believe in that case that somebody is living in the restaurant, therefor it is his/her/their home, therefor the meals are ‘home made.’ I guess there could be rats who call the restaurant home too, so okay - yeah, by that logic, no matter where you go the meals are home made. Swanson tv dinners are home made because gypsies and spiders live in the factory. “It’s gypsy-licious!” their new ad campaign begins. No? I digress.

In D&D the kids are finally putting together pieces of the information I’ve been feeding them to come to various conclusions. These conclusions may be right or they may be wrong, I’ll never blog, but it’s nice to see them putting their heads together as a group. Most of the time NPCs will tell them what to do and they’ll just assume it’s what they’re supposed to do seeing as how it came from the DM. Not necessarily, my pretties, not necessarily. They parleyed, and in the words of Paul Simon, time it was oh what a time it was. Now they may make choices that I haven’t planned for and even though it means more improv for me, I think they’ll enjoy the campaign more that way, knowing I’m not railroading them.

If anybody wants to join Warren, Yvonne and me for Fahrenheit 9/11 tomorrow at 4:45 at the Park Theater please do!

Strictly for interest’s (whose I don’t know) sake, here’s a scale of music styles, and my feelings toward them.

The Passionometer!

—LOVE
Rock
Lounge
Techno
Jazz
Classical
Folk
Country
Pop
Hiphop
Rap
Reggae
—HATE

Of course there are no absolutes, and of course these classifications can be further divided. For example, Punk Rock - Soft Rock. I like some of both. I love Nomeansno but Janice Joplin rubs me the wrong way. I’m not even sure how Blues and Soul are defined, so I left them off the list. Special notes on jazz: the “experimental” jazz that is all over the board and has no rhythm I’m not fond of, but bouncy jazz, such as that of Glenn Miller, I love. Tom Waits - wherever he falls - equals good.

I find the music industry to be offensive, even though my experience with it is limited, but I more or less know how it works “behind the scenes” and I know that what we are presented with on the radio and tv as “the hits” have less to do with musical talent and more to do with marketing, style, and sex. As such, I have programmed MuchMusic out of the tv/vcr, so that when I’m channel surfing it gets skipped over. The cons outweigh the pros as I find myself offended or at least appalled even by glimpses of most music videos. This usually leaves me feeling a little embarrassed when I’m at another person’s house and Avril Lavigne comes on and everyone seems to know who it is and when I ask “who’s that” I get laughed at and I have to ask again. But it’s all monkeys in the pudding, and I’m fine with that. I don’t mind taking a percuss to the ego occasionally as a tradeoff for living in a world isolated from that brand of crappiness. I figure listening to the radio in Shoppers Drug Mart and other public places is enough exposure for my needs. I’ll just have to rely on my friends to tell me if anything good comes out of any given “scene” while my back is turned to the media that ostensibly introduces music its fans.