Toren Atkinson’s Absolute Blog

OK that last entry got me all in the mood for a look at some of my favourite chocolate bars.

Coffee Crisp.
It’s delightful. It’s delectible. They don’t have it in the states.
Alternate versions: French Vanilla (yuck); Latte (yuck); Triple Mocha (yuck); Orange (yum).

Reese Peanut Butter Cups. Yes. Yes yes yes. I love the way the chocolate actually melts while you hold on to the cup. You’ve tried the cups - now try the cereal!

Lowney’s Bridge Mixture. Variety goes a long long way, even so far as to excuse the low quality chocolate. If any of these bits were sold by themselves, I wouldn’t be interested. What can I say, I like getting a whole bunch of different tastes in one box. I mean package. Oh, nevermind. I like “midgit mix” for the same reason, even though some of the candies in it are gross.
Not technically a candy “bar”.

Cadbury’s Fruit & Nut. The fruit is raisins, the nut is almonds. The quality of the chocolate is pretty good for a cheap bar. If they made this in dark chocolate instead of milk chocolate it would be really something. Launched in Canada in the ’50s. This is my “I want a sophisticated, adult choco bar.” I used to eat this a lot more than I do now. I think that’s because I’ve discovered Ritter Sport.

Ritter Sport dark chocolate and dark chocolate with hazel nuts. Oh my goodness! Now that’s good chocolate for two bucks. Put this in my top five. Some of the flavours on this website I haven’t even seen in Canadian stores. Tiramisu? Cherry vanilla yoghurt? I’d try that!

Whatchamacallit!
Not easy to find in Canada. Whenever I go down to the states, I make a point of grabbing one of these when we stop for gas. I remember the commercial like it were several days ago. That sentence doesn’t actually make sense.

Eat-More. On those rare occasions when I want more nuts ‘n’ shit than chocolate, this is what I reach for. It’s like the candy company took all the sweepings from their factory floor and pressed them into a bar. And I dig it.

Crunchie. Oh Crunchie sweet Crunchie. I haven’t eaten you for strange aeons. But I still love you.

M&M Peanuts. Remember that old Indian legend of how Coyote tricked Raven into giving M&M peanuts their beautiful colours? I consider this almost a healthy treat given the candy to nut ratio. But when you get one little one that is missing the nut - that is a special treat in and of itself, isn’t it? I see you agree.

My secret shame: Lowney’s Cherry Blossom. I don’t know why. Don’t judge me. Just check out the cool interactive box at some nerds’ website.

Special mention: Maltesers, especially when they come in the milk carton container.

The Caramilk Secret REVEALED! They put the caramel into the chocolate in a machine in a factory.

And just one more thing…while I have your attention, once again: there is no such thing as red licorice. Licorice is a flavour. You are thinking of Strawberry Twizzlers. To say red licorice is like saying red mint.

Three finished drawings per day for two days is… a lot of work. Walking Marlo to the bus stop this evening is the first time I’ve been outside since Sunday.

I like trying new things. A lot of people don’t like the risk. When it comes to food - the risk is acceptable to me. I got a flyer for a new Chinese restaurant called the Varsity Grill. There were coupons on the back and the menu seemed good so I suggested to Marlo that we have it for dinner tonight, delivery-wise. It may not be the worst Chinese food I’ve ever had, but it was in the bottom five. A lot of the egg fu yung has been egg fu flung to Kodos.

I’ve tried the peanut butter Kit Kat. I’ve tried the Latte Coffee Crisp and the Caramel Coffee Crisp. All were disappointments, but I’ll keep on trying these new culinary experiments. I won’t try the “inside out” Reese Peanut Butter cups and I’ll tell you why: a regular pack contains 3 cups - the new pack contains 2 cups for the same price. Sorry Reese. There’s so many stupid new candy bar variations now - I’ve lost track of all the different Kit Kats. Oh wait - I found the website: check this out:

1931 The KIT KAT wafer bar is introduced.
2000 The KIT KAT BIG KAT/CHUNK wafer bar is introduced.
2002 KIT KAT Limited Edition White Chocolate and Dark Chocolate wafer bars are introduced.
2003 KIT KAT expands its limited edition line to include mint and orange flavors.
2004 KIT KAT BIG KAT Limited Edition White Chocolate and KIT KAT Triple Chocolate wafer bars are introduced.

Wow, look at that big gap between 1931 and 2000. How did the product manage to survive without all the gimmicky varieties for three score years and change? I don’t even see the peanut butter variety on the list, and I bet there’s a caramel one too.

They’re doing the same thing to Reese’s cups, Aero bar (I do like the orange flavoured Aero, I know Yvonne will balk), and now Coffee Crisp. I shouldn’t complain about having more variety to choose from in my snacks, but Smarties* in a bar form with white chocolate? It seems like they could be working on something better. That said, good job on the sundae flavoured Smarties, Nestle.

My American readers - our Smarties are different than yours - see here: http://www.bewarethecheese.com/smartiepants.htm

While I’ve been drawing I’ve been:

Dubbing Clone High for Jordan & Tara.
Finishing off mixed tapes.
Listening to a lot of my old tapes made years ago, including tapes of “Laugh Tracks” recorded from the radio in the mid ’80s, and the Shuffle Demons.