Toren Atkinson’s Absolute Blog

U.S. Treasury Secretary John Snow said that Canadian oil was important to American security.[Houston Chronicle]

a study found that circumcised men are less likely to contract HIV

It became clear that Karl Rove had leaked information about Valerie Plame to the press. In response, President George W. Bush, who had previously announced that he would fire anyone in his administration who was found to have leaked Plame’s identity, announced that he would actually fire only proven criminals.

a Florida man, worried that his three-year-old son might become a gay sissy, was accused of beating the boy to death.

Disney World started scanning the index and middle fingers of all visitors

A study found that the blood of newborn babies contained an average of two hundred industrial chemicals and pollutants including pesticides, perfluorochemicals, and waste from burning garbage

A Tennessee man was charged with desecrating a venerated object and sent to jail after he burned an American flag.

Many U.S. cities set records for high temperatures

A German magazine published a coupon for free sex with prostitutes

The U.S. House of Representatives voted to keep most of the USA Patriot Act, extending provisions that allow the search of library and medical records by ten years.

A study found that 24,865 civilians have been killed in Iraq during the last two years

A bipolar Indiana woman beat her two young sons to death with a dumbbell so that the boys could go to heaven.

authorities in Malaysia arrested fifty-eight people who worship a giant teapot

In Bowling for Columbine one of the main points was that fearmongering is a major source of social unrest, and all that that implies.

I thought it would be interesting to create a list of all the things that the media tells you to be afraid of, and then a list of what I think you should fear.

On the first list, here are a few things I can think of off the top of my head.

Things to fear (media)

Taking regular showers may cause harm to the nervous system
Chopsticks may cause arthritis
Teflon may cause cancer
Soy may cause cancer and brain damage
Tylenol may cause asthma
Birth control pill may cause cancer
Cell Phones may cause cataracts
Wood Smoke may cause lung cancer
PCBs may cause diabetes
Typing may cause tendonitis
Viagra may cause vision loss
Smog may cause lung problems
Farmed salmon may cause cancer
Anti-depression medications may cause tooth decay
White Bread may cause tooth decay
Potato chips may cause cancer
Flying may cause cancer/leuemia
Mosquito coils may cause cancer
Soft candles may cause respiratory problems
Colgate, Aquafresh, Sensodyne may cause depression, liver problems, cancer
Paint strippers may cause damage to the liver, kidney or brain, and cancer
Aspartame may cause liver cancer
Dental fillings may cause multiple sclerosis
Cling Wrap may cause health problems
Styrofoam cups and trays may cause health problems
Household cleaning fluids with pthalates may cause infertility

Feel free to comment with more