Toren Atkinson’s Absolute Blog

Polar bears are drowning, resorting to cannibalism, and mating with grizzlies. A result of global warming, or just for yucks?

According to the radio, Madonna is crazy crazy for me. That’s nice. My past couple days have been busy with slackademics, my recording setup, and gaming. Last night during Mutants & Masterminds Joe and I switched places – now he is the GM and I am a player. My character, Zero, is a power mimic so that should keep me interested. We’re fighting super-nazis on an alternate Earth.

Lance, one of the other extras in X3, emailed me and mentioned that he saw both of us in a scene which I had missed on my viewing - one with Magneto and Callisto.

Jordan and Tara dropped by on Sunday with my new acoustic guitar. I also dropped in on Yvonne unexpectedly on Saturday while I was in her neighborhood garage sailing and we caught up on things. I grabbed my old Yamaha keyboard off of her and so now I have lots of studio instruments, for what it’s worth.

Joe agreed to do up a proper slackademics website, so that should help things along. I definitely have quorum for a drawing course, so I just have to figure out when that will be. If you’re interested in joining let me know what days of the week are generally good for you. Rowan pointed out http://www.freeschool.vcn.bc.ca to me, which looks like a kind of hippiesque “radical” version of slackademics (topics are/were voluntary simplicity, beyond sensory perception, readings and history on sexuality, and graffiti and guerilla public art). Useful to see that they are/were holding their learning groups at Spartacus Books. They also seem to be stagnant or defunct as of March.

Here’s something you probably didn’t know: I’ve been on the MediFast diet for…oh probably about six weeks now. This is the first time I’ve blogged about it, and there’s a couple reasons for that. Firstly, I’m not terribly sensitive about my weight, but I am JUST sensitive enough that I don’t like to attract attention to it. Or more accurately, to attract attention to the fact that I am unhappy with my body and am trying to “fix” it. The other reason was that I wanted to do a little experiment. I wanted to see how much weight I would have to lose before somebody would notice (or at least say something about noticing). So far I think I have had two people who hadn’t seen me in a while make a comment. Two at the most. So that experiment’s complete.

The last time I weighed myself was probably three to four weeks ago and I was down almost 20 lbs, so I’m guessing now my total mass lost is in the neighborhood of 25-30. I don’t have a scale so I have to rely on the kindness of stranglers.

The diet is incredibly strict, and comes with its own food – which is powdered and dehydrated packets. I won’t get into the specifics because it’s dull as hell, suffice to say I’m allowed one real meal a day and five of the MediFarce meals, which are tiny but palatable to a non-picky guy like me. I don’t really have any problem following the regimen except when in social situations where there is lots of snacks around. That’s a kind of torture but it’s easy to resist when you’re single and you don’t want to be.

This is the same diet that Joe has been on for months. You can go over to his blog and see his photo diary but you’ll be scarred for life. Essentially he’s lost 70 lbs or something and he’s one of the cult’s biggest proponents. I am not going to be on it for that long. Despite what he says, I do not need to lose 50 lbs. I wasn’t even sure I was going to be on it for more than 5 weeks, but I did end up ordering another 5 weeks worth of their astronaut food. I hoped to lose some of my bulk, for sure, but the other half of the deal was that I hoped to break out of the bad eating habits that I had/have. I have learned a lot being on this thing, apart from the fact that I really miss chocolate and pizza and bubble tea, and the fact that there aren’t enough yummy, convenient healthy foods in my shopping radius. I learned that there are a lot of sugary, carby, fatty things I ate that I can do without (and several that I would rather not).

I do not want to be skinny. I just want to be average. Joe goes on and on constantly about how much weight he’s lost, and he has a right to be happy about that because that’s the goal he set and he achieved it. He said to me “doesn’t it feel great when someone comments on how much thinner you are?” Well, yes and no. Yes, I feel more confident. I can ask girls out on dates and rest assured that I’m rejected on the grounds that I’m a gargoyle and not because I’m a morbidly obese gargoyle. On the other hand, it makes me decidedly NOT feel great that I am buying into the side of society that I absolutely despise: the vain, superficial, magazine-cover cosmetic BS that makes me want to withdraw from society, crawl into a cave and be sick. Going on this diet makes me feel like I have surrendered to that side of society and I feel cheap and disgusted with myself. Nevermind that it’s probably not the safest thing to do to put my body in a state of ketosis.

But, on a more positive note, I see this (ironically) as a starting point for a more healthy and active lifestyle. I’ve done it before, the trick is maintaining. I have no illusions that I am going to maintain the edge-of-starvation-slimitude I’ll have by the end of the 10 weeks. Soon I will be treating myself to the occasional taro milkshake bubble tea and be happy with the healthy amount of flab that makes Toren the sparkling personality you’ve come to know and love (plus all my best t-shirts are XL).