Toren Atkinson’s Absolute Blog

With my roleplaying buddies I planned
A Lovecraftian rock ‘n’ roll band
When the media tires me
And asks what inspires me
I just show them my pineal gland

Maybe you’re the kind of person who only sees special effects-laden blockbusters on the big screen because everything else can be enjoyed just as well on DVD. But I think you should see An Inconvenient Truth as soon as possible. It is extremely informative and to some extent, time-sensitive. It’s the kind of movie I would have taken Tinessa to see because she was of the opinion that the whole global warming phenomena was an unproven hoax…a leftie scare tactic. As Mr Gore points out, yes global warming is a controversial theory, but only in the media. Scientists do not consider it controversial nor do they consider it a theory. It’s pretty  scary what is going on, and how the US administration is pretending it’s not, but the good news is that it’s not just Gore telling us the sky is falling. If we get our shit together we can in fact do something about it. So the movie kind of has a happy ending, but only if we take the information with us and do something about it. If I’m proud of anything in my life, it’s my low “ecological footprint” lifestyle (though there’s always room for improvement). So the movie didn’t need to sell me on anything, but it was chock full of incredible facts and I did come away learning a lot. For example 10,000 years ago the ice in the Canadian Shield melted enough that the water leaked out into the Atlantic Ocean and disrupted the conveyor currents, causing an ice age over Europe in as little time as a decade. This could happen again from the ice on Greenland.
So, seriously, next time you buy light bulbs, get the energy efficient kind.

Also, did Alberta ever really spend that 1.5 million to publicize its opposition to Kyoto?

Chocolate cake courtesy Michelle B!

Tonight I bore horrific witness to the teeming throngs of punks, drunks and skunks that attended the Symphony of Light or Celebration of Fire or whatever the hell it is that they call it, and indeed I was one of them (slightly punkish, slightly skunkish, and only drunk with rage).

The fireworks were pretty impressive – but nothing like the fireworks in my heart every moment of every day. It was like they took my 1997 screen saver and put it in the sky (and indeed it should happen every time that the sky is inactive for five minutes). The music was pretty awful but they did play Queen’s “Who Wants to Live Forever” which led to a quick critique of the Highlander movies that I’m sure annoyed everyone around us. But that’s okay because they annoyed us. How did they annoy us? Oh my heavens, let me count the ways. No, actually. I won’t because I’ve got to get some sleep tonight. Some of the fireworks looked exactly like a knot of sperm (or school of sperm if you prefer a more traditional incorrect collective noun terminology) which made me ponder how difficult and how cool it would be to try to adapt some PBS sex ed documentary into a fireworks display. I think it would definitely be worth a try. The grandeur! The majesty of gross things going on in my epedidimus written in gunpowder! It’d be poetic and educational, and come on, what better medium can you think of to describe a climax than fireworks? Although I guess if everything’s fireworks then the orgasm kind of loses it’s punch. Moving on….I also thought that the judges should give extra points if the smoke cloud from the fireworks looked like something cool by the end of the display — like a dragon or something. Even if it’s not a point system, throw a couple on there for good measure, like process cheese on a hot apple pie slice.

Afterwards, we (Lani, Selina and I) rode our bikes all the way to Oak & 17th whereat awaited the Gloucester Cafe which is a misnomer because it’s Chinese and it’s a restaurant. Astoundingly, we beat the others who were with us that drove cars (going from the Spanish Banks) although I think we pushed poor Selina too hard. I am going to have to go back to the Gloucester in a few months because they have double boiled essence of frog in some kind of sweet soup, but only available in winter. They also had cylon tea. I asked the surly waitress (I call her “Bright Eyes”) if it was served by a cylon, or if they just dipped a cylon into a vat of boiling water, or what, but she just shot daggers out of her eyes. As you can gather, it’s a pretty crazy joint!

Oh I almost forgot to tell you about my experience at Golden Age Collectibles. Normally I don’t support GAC because there are lots of other comic stores that are way more supportive of the gaming community in Vancouver, but I slipped in to see if they had any Jonny Quest or Dr Who comics. The guy was at the back doing something on a computer so I went back and said “I am looking for a couple of obscure comics…” and I gave a pause so that he could finish whatever he was doing and give me his full attention. He took the opportunity instead to reply rather curtly in typical sarcastic Comic Shop Guy mien, “…and do these comics have titles?” Holy lost customer, Batman! Who took your corn flakes out of the acid-free polybag and pissed in them? I politely ran off the titles and then politely left the shop, vowing to blog about my experience for all to politely read. And that brings us to this picture of a Yithian that I drew:

I discovered that flourescent orange ink on red paper makes a very interesting highlighting effect. Unfortunately it doesn’t translate well through the scan, since you can’t see the flourescence or the orangence, so you’ll just have to trust me. Would I lie to you about something so important?

I love Stewie my roomie like El Guapo so I will post something here that is important to everyone in this household:

Hello all,

The last three years of my life have been tied up making a video game – and after all that time, it’s finally about to come out.
If you’re interested, please follow the link where you can have a look at the demo. If you’re not interested, then I have a favour – follow the link anyhow. The response to the demo has been huge and positive, but we are at odds with the fans of another game. I’ve always chuckled at that sort of thing when Star Trek fans did it to Star Wars fans and all that, but now I’m on the other end of it – who’s laughing now!?

So, even if you wouldn’t mind following the link and adding your vote for the game – even if you’re not into strategy games, think of it as voting for me.

http://www.fileplanet.com/165574/160000/fileinfo/Sword-of-the-Stars-Demo?r=5

Thanks everyone.

c

But in accordance with the Blogger Code I must also warn you that if you are like me and want to actually look at the demo you will have to register on the site, confirm via email, be asked to subscribe for a fee, get confused about how to actually download the file without subscribing, be told that there is an error because you don’t have Internet Explorer on your system, that you will have to wait 25 minutes for your download to begin because you are NOT a subscriber, and then give up, slightly miffed for wasting time to register on the site in the first place. No fault of Stewie’s of course. I support his game, but there are only so many hoops to jump through before my big feet get snagged. I think you can rate the game without having to jump through any of said hoops though. Correct me if I’m wrong.

Oh and I did voices for the game in case you didn’t know.

ADDENDUM: I actually did wait for the 25 minutes and downloaded the game with no problem, and launched and played with no problem! Pretty neat stuff – I even got in a battle.

Warren, in a previous comment on this very blog, pointed me at Project Rooftop, which I will here describe so that you’re not obliged to click the link (though you probably will after the description): cartoonists and illustrators redesign the costumes of classic (and otherwise) superheroes and villains. Some of them don’t have much of an appreciable gap between what is presented on the site and what you could expect from a given issue of the comic in question, while others are remarkably unique (Rogue and Iron Man, for example). Some, even though the costume designs aren’t strikingly new, are still great pieces of art.

I considered submitting something, and if I do get around to a finished product, it would be a sort of “What if Captain Carrot existed in my superhero world of Power Enterprise.” Well I took a stab at it today at work and here are the roughs.

Oh and I added Red Rover and Doctor Gnucleus to the WWFJ post.

Today I learned some Punjabi and Hindi from the nice young lady who sits catawampus to me. I like Hindi better than Punjabi so far because it just sounds cooler. Compoare soniye to khoubsurat. Clearly the latter is superior. Though Punjabi does have shaabaash! which sounds like it could be a Lovecraftian space god but does in fact mean “well done!” “Bohut garam hai” means, literally, “too hot is,” which describes the apartment. But that’s okay, because I have The Ink Spots to cool me down. Did you know that there is a street in Richmond called Vulcan Way? Thereat, everyone is a vegetarian and a pacifist.

Also, I have another million-dollar idea I’m giving away free on my blog. Well, it’s a million dollar idea to someone–someone who is a student looking for a thesis. The thesis is what impact cell phones accidentally dialing 911 is having on society. Because I’m sure it happens factors greater (what is the expression I’m looking for here?) than it has been before everyone and their e-cybopooch had a cell phone, and you gotta know that the emergency services coalition or whatever they’re called has, is, or will be changing the way they do things because of all the accidental calls. Will there be undue loss of life?

Is there air? You don’t know!

A few weeks about my friends Tim & Carina moved. They gave me a bunch of stuff for my birthday auction (before you ask, no date set) including How to Host A Mystery, Star Trek: The Next Generation style. They made me promise that I would run it and invite them, to which I quickly agreed. Others also were very enthusiastic – so much so that I wanted to set a date as soon as possible to satiate their disturbing Trekkie needs. In hindsight I should have waited a little longer, because we played it last night and it was way way way too hot in my apartment to do anything except stay out, even with three fans going. Especially when that anything includes being dressed up in Trek costume. We should have pretended we were at Risa, or perhaps the environmental controls on the Enterprise were on the bridge.

Anyhoo I did a pretty clumsy job of running the game (the rulebook didn’t make it very easy for me, but to be fair it was my reading comprehension was not exactly at its best). It was no mention at all about whether the host should or should not play the game as one of the characters. I recommend that wherever this game goes, the host should NOT try to play the game, and should familiarize him/herself with everything, including spoiling the ending, so that he doesn’t cock up so magnificently. I wouldn’t say the night was spoiled because even with the heat and the gaffs it was still tons of fun, but how could it not be in the company of Caleb, Lani, Adam, Sheri, Stephane, Tim and Carina and all of the delicious cross-alpha quadrant victuals that came with them!

And now that I know how to host it properly, I would do so again if there is enough interest, but not until the environmental controls are under control.

I finished the ink job on Rust today. So i thought I’d show her off. I’m not sure how I’m going to colour her. I prefer watercolour but I don’t want to screw it up, which I’m sure I’ll do. Oh well at least I’ve got the uncoloured version scanned in.

I was watching the first Christopher Reeve Superman flick the other night and I’d like to talk about the scene where he’s being interviewed by Lois. One of the things he says so earnestly is “I never lie.” Well, Supes, that’s almost true. In your non-lying identity. But your other identity, Mr Kent lives a life that is a constant lie. And I can also point out times when he specifically lies. So I call shenanigans on that little declaration.

Secondly, at the end of the tape (yes, I watch movies on vhs – I live for being able to fast forward through FBI warnings), were screen tests. They actually shot that scene of the rooftop interview on movie film stock with everyone in full costume for a variety of actresses. And let me tell you, when Superman has enormous wet spots on the armpits his long underwear, the best acting won’t draw your eyes away. I don’t recommend it.