Toren Atkinson’s Absolute Blog

Now I have to completely retool my pocket filing system. You see, my keys go in my front left, my change in my right. Wallet’s in the right back and sunglasses, directions, etc go in the left back. Now that I have a cell phone I’m just not sure what to do with it. Oh I know! I’ll keep it at home on a shelf!

ps – anyone have an extra mouse pad lying around? My optical mouse goes wonky so often that I’m sure I’m burning my retinas away looking into the beam to see if there’s a hair or something in it. I figure maybe a mouse pad might help.

1 can Diet A&W or Mug root beer – 0 calories
1/2 cup of Nestle low fat “no sugar added” vanilla ice cream – 80 calories

= one 80 calorie root beer float.

Aw yeah.

The two great tastes of lightning and octopus, together at last.

Bonus: Quote from John K’s recent blog entry, which, as an artist and as a cinephile, I find fantastically amusing:

I don’t want this post to be about Disney. I’m just making the point that it is extremely dangerous to limit yourself to a small body of work in one small field of art. It’s Ok that some people like Disney and the original Disney artists at least had some pre Disney influences. Now the inheritors of the Disney style only have Disney as an influence but without the solid art training that held together Walt’s cheesy vision. Well, lately The Disney followers today actually do have some small other influences, but usually worse ones, like Anime or Hanna Barbera 70s cartoons-like every Disney Feature that has come out since Eisner and Katzenberg took over. They preserved the worst part of Disney-the sappiness, the insincerity, the pandering to mothers and they threw out the good parts-the amazing draftsmanship and attention to intricate detail. The 2d movies that came out in the 1980s and 90s look like big-budget Ruby Spears cartoons, they are drawn as badly as Saturday morning cartoons but pretend to have Disney sensibilty by breaking into awful songs every 5 seconds and having fake pathos and wacky irritating sidekicks.

So Joyce and I went to see Body Works at Science World. I’ve never seen so many dry dead genitals in one place, it was pretty damn neato. Even a killer headache couldn’t keep me back! They even had fetuseseses in various stages of development, not to mention the normal vs smoker lungs. And all the rest you’d expect from an exhibit with a skateboarding cadaver. They say “We recommend purchasing your tickets in advance to minimize your wait time” but on a Wednesday afternoon there was no wait. So I recommend that, if you can. It’s $25, But You May Never Have Another Chance.

The forthcoming James Bond movie, Casino Royale, does indeed look more interesting than the last few, but that’s not saying much. It

introduces JAMES BOND before he holds his license to kill. But Bond is no less dangerous, and with two professional assassinations in quick succession, he is elevated to “00” status. Bond’s first 007 mission takes him to Madagascar, where he is to spy on a terrorist.

Wouldn’t it have been even more interesting if they had set it in the seventies, or whenever the first James Bond film was set? I think so.

Error getting network address for “shawmail”

Cause: host not found (11001)

Oh how I hate you.

Well, if you’re waiting for email from me, you’ll have to wait a little longer until I find out what the problem is with stupid Eudora/Shaw/Uniserve.

In the meantime and inbetween time, we’re getting ready for the big show in Chilliwack this weekend…should be decent and a nice trial before the Vancouver show on the 21st of Rocktober. The “Where the Great Old Ones Are” t-shirts arrived yesterday (well, I picked them up, and carried the big fat box on the bus to the annoyance of others, I’m sure) and they are lookin’ good! Especially the light beige baseball tees with the dark brown sleeves. Classy!

So yeah – new blog design. This way my photos can be wider. I hope everyone likes it. It’s no frills, the way I like my interweb. I also am now enforcing logon for commentary. I think 46,231 spam posts on my comments merits that kind of action. Don’t you?

Title track off of Tenacious D’s new album:

http://www.sonymusic.com/clips/selection/fu/700746/700746_01_02_full_100.asx

Footage from a giant squid documentary which hasn’t aired in Canada that I know of (this relates to the live architeuthis that was photographed a couple years ago):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dGLUT62mHz4

I have a few mp3s that I think everyone should hear. Do you want to hear them? If so, email me from an email account that can receive 2-3 meg files.

By popular demand here are some photos of my sticker-laden dressers.

I realized as I was putting this collage together, that in fact I forgot to take a snap of one of the dresser tops. I didn’t forget to take detailed shots of the BACKS (not many stickers, but a few) or the inside of the drawers themselves (as seen above). I didn’t forget, I just didn’t want to bother. I figure what I present should keep you occupied for a while. It’s like a “Where’s Waldo” of pop culture over the past 20 years, only EVERYTHING is a Waldo, fer Crissakes.

Here is the ever-so-large jpeg. It may take a minute to fully load.

http://www.thickets.net/toren/dresserfinal.jpg

Count The Darkest of the Hillside Thickets stickers!! Feel free to ask questions, I will do my best to answer.

CampyCon I Report!

I spent all week stressing (to the extent I’m able) about what to pack for camping, not having been for ohhhhhhhhh 12 years or so? Everything turned out pretty damn good though – I didn’t freeze during the night, I didn’t have to lug my gear pretty much at all. We had figured to go to Alice Lake for 2 nights, but Mr Geisel couldn’t come if we went that far and long, so we changed our plans to a campsite on Mt Seymour that was perfect for gaming, and not exactly what I’d call ‘roughing it.’ Observe:

This is the site. You see that little building? It had SIX picnic tables inside. We could have run seven games at once including the table outside! Just down the path in the middle of the photo is the trail that leads to where we pitched our tents.

You can see the wood stove in the back of the building. This is where we heated delicious pies.

All the amenities of home. Almost all.

Off to a Jerky Start.

We left late on Friday, around 7pm. It took us some time to get to the site. We made two stops, one for food and one for firewood, before we were stopped on the mountain road by the crew that was filming “Masters of Horror.” So we waited and waited and were worried that we were going to be turned back. Finally they let us through. Then we waited at another checkpoint. We finally got past the filming and we realized the parking lot where were were supposed to go was the exact place where we were stopped the first time. We spent 20 minutes sitting right next to our campsite complaining about how we weren’t at the campsite yet.

Cooking Food and Rolling Dice.

We had lots of great food. Jason brought up salmon steaks!

After filling our bellies with those and yummy squash salad we prepared for some gaming. I, of course, was the Dungeon Master! Here are a few of our stalwart heroes:

……………………………..Geisel
Level 5 Husband
Hit Points: 27

Geoff
Charisma: 18
12 ranks in Survival

Jamie
Will Save: +7
Feats: Brew Potion; Magical Aptitude

Knowing that this was going to be a simple, one-shot, first level game Geisel suggested everyone come with two characters in case one died. Indeed, I took out Jason and Geisel’s characters quite handily. Here we are, six white nerds:

Dig those headlamps – good for gaming in the dark.

We played until about 2am. Before we hit our respective sacks, Simon gave us a fire show:

……………………………………………………..

and I discovered that my camera has a fireworks setting!

I pitched my tent for the very first time in the dark. Here’s what it looked like in the morning! Boring for you to look at, I know, but I was excited. SO DAMN EXCITED! CAMPYCON! WOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Thanks, Kate & Theo! This tent was one of my birthday auction BONANZAS!

The next morning, we had a fine, fine breakfast, played some Magic: The Gathering, and then proceeded up the mountain to Dinky Peak. I didn’t bring a t-shirt so I wore my old, ratty, long underwear-ish long sleeve. It got hot enough that I literally bit the sleeves off.

Yes, that’s the shirt.

The end. See you next year, if you’ve got the dice for it!

Today is my brother’s birthday. He’ll be older.

I used to have a really good sense of smell when I was younger. I could smell things that others couldn’t. Although now that I think about it, I did hang out with a lot of smokers. Then the band played a show in Whitehorse and I had an allergy attack – the first ever! A trip to the Dr Al Lergy showed that I was allergic to some kind of Pacific tree. Since then my sinuses have never been quite the same. I make ever-so-slightly audible wheezey noises and the old grey olfactory sensors she ain’t what she used to be. Hmm. I thought that story would be longer. I can add that my vaguely hippieish girlfriend at the time tried to cure my hives with essential oil concoctions to no effect. Then I discovered the wonderful world of antihistamines and they were gone in a flash. I have never since had any kind of attack. In fact I really don’t have any reaction at all to anything since that day, but I know it’s there, bubbling under the surface. WAITING TO STRIKE!