Toren’s Guide to Star Trek: Voyager Season 6

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EQUINOX PART 2

Starfleet Captain Ransom, also stranded in the Delta Quadrant, is doing bad things and violated the prime directive. Janeway goes crazy koo-koo and prioritizes laying down the law on Ransom rather than defending her own crew from dimensional shamblers. Meanwhile, evil Doctor is over the top. 6/10

SURVIVAL INSTINCT

You thought Seven was the only borg separated by the collective! Because they keep saying that. However, by sheer coincidence she comes into contact with three other ex-borg who aren’t linked to the collective but are constantly nightmarishly linked to each others thoughts. Doctor severs their link but gives them only a month to live. The Bajoran ex-drone decides to spend her remaining days aboard the ship. We never hear about her again. 6.6/10

BARGE OF THE DEAD

B’elanna is injured in an accident and while she’s in a coma she meets her mom in the Klingon purgatory. Is it real? Is it not real? It’s real dumb, is what it is. 3/10

TINKER, TENOR, DOCTOR, SPY.

The doctor programs himself to daydream, but the daydreams begin to take over, and then alien nerds spy on the ship through his program, interpreting his daydreams as reality. Sketchy premise but the writing and performances are charming, with special nod to the actors playing the aliens, J.M Leggett and Googy Gress. 8/10

ALICE

A trader is compelled to unload a cursed space dragster named Christine, er…I mean ALICE… to a compatible pilot and by SHEER COINCIDENCE Tom Paris decides to buy her. She takes over his brain and forces him to fly her to some place and we’re never told why. 5/10

RIDDLES

Invisible xenophobic alien zaps Tuvok which turns him into a fun-loving dummy. If Voyager can find the invisible xenophobic alien maybe they can cure fun-loving dummy Tuvok. But does fun-loving dummy Tuvok want to go back to being dull smart Tuvok? He may never make desserts again!!!! 6/10

DRAGON’S TEETH

Uncomplicated but entertaining plot has Janeway pissing off not one but 2 alien fleets. Could have made a decent feature film. Put Tom Hardy in it. 7.3/10

ONE SMALL STEP

Out of the blue a bunch of people are Mars Mission history buffs. Especially when by SHEER COINCIDENCE a giant subspace walnut that eats space ships, which has visited the Sol System, appears in front of Voyager a gazillion light years away. Chakotay is dumb and Seven gets sentimental. 5.2/10

THE VOYAGER CONSPIRACY

Seven breaks her brain but don’t worry, Janeway can fix it all with a good pep talk. A good reminder that the Flat Earthers are going to steal our planes soon. 6/10

PATHFINDER

Lt Broccoli is not on the Enterprise with Geordi anymore. Now he’s on a starbase and working on communicating with Voyager. He has a brilliant idea but his boss won’t listen because he’s always in the holodeck. Deanna Troi serves as a narrative device. 7/10

FAIR HAVEN

Janeway falls in love with an old timey Irish hologram. 6.2/10

BLINK OF AN EYE

On a planet where time passes faster than the rest of the galaxy, Voyager becomes a sky god and the Doctor gets married and has a son that he will probably never mention again in the series. Then the aliens become more advanced than Voyager and shoot lasers at it. 7/10

VIRTUOSO

Math nerds become superfans of the Doctor’s singing, until the next big thing comes along. 7.4/10

MEMORIAL

A memorial to an ancient battle traumatises the crew and Janeway decides it’s fine to leave it up and running. 5.5/10

TSUNKATSE

Martok and Weyoun wear different makeup and Seven has to fight in a televised space MMA match composed of kidnapped fighters. Voyager doesn’t stand a chance against a vastly superior ship but they rescue their crew and get away clean for some reason. The Rock does his eyebrow thing. 5/10

COLLECTIVE

Abandoned Borg kids are cute, but they grow up so fast! The wee borg demand that Voyager helps them, but end up being taken on board Voyager as more ex-drones. 5.5/10

SPIRIT FOLK

So apparently the inventors of the holodeck never bothered to test it to see what happens if it ran around the clock over an extended period of time. This obvious oversight leads to the simulated characters seeing real people use “magic” and start a witch hunt. Naturally they take hostages and they can’t just turn it off . Well at least the characters are interesting. 6/10

ASHES TO ASHES

A dead and “buried” (in space) crewman -who we have never heard of before over these 7 years despite being a close friend of Kim – has been found and reanimated by aliens and made part of their species, but then she returns to Voyager hoping to resume her old life. But then she leaves again when things don’t work out, which is disappointing because she’s an interesting character. Then the episode ends awkwardly with Ensign Kim giving her brush to a borg girl and holding hands with her. 7/10

CHILD’S PLAY

The parents of Icheb (the oldest borg boy) are found and Icheb is returned to them, but then it’s revealed that he has been used as a sacrifice to deliver a virus to the borg. 6.5/10

GOOD SHEPHERD

Three misfit crewmembers fuck up a lot, but Janeway tries to mother them. The guitarist from Rage Against the Machine is in this episode. 6.5/10

LIVE FAST AND PROSPER

Scam artists are posing as Janeway and Tuvok, taking advantage of their marks and besmirching Voyager’s good name. Kind of funny. 6.5/10

MUSE

B’Elanna Torres crashed on a planet where some playwright discovered her and is using Voyager logs to create an epic play. Luckily Starfleet’s principles come through in the play and prevent war in the region. Derpy premise but kind of touching. 6.5/10

FURY

Kes returns and she’s mad as heck, and we don’t really get a good explanation about that or anything else. 5/10

LIFELINE

The Doctor’s inventor is dying and they send The Doctor a gazillion light years to cure him, but oh no he doesn’t want the help! Deanna Troi to the rescue! 7/10

THE HAUNTING OF DECK TWELVE

SPACE CLOUD takes over the ship, rehashing old material from the TNG episode “Lonely Among Us.” The difference here is that Neelix tells it in the form of a ghost story to the li’l borg babies. 6/10

UNIMATRIX ZERO, PART I

A borg “virus” has created a group hallucination/virtual world where individual borg go to live their pre-borg lives. The borg queen – yeah you know that individual boss character who undermines the entire concept of the borg – is very passionate about destroying it. Also Janeway can go there for some reason even though she is CLEARLY NOT A BORG. Until the end of the episode WHEN SHE IS BORGIFIED!!! 6/10

About Toren

Illustrator, comic artist, voice and screen actor, lead singer for The Darkest of the Hillside Thickets, co-author Spaceship Zero roleplaying game.
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